 Episode 1 |
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 These are some of the ingredients that you will need:
Morcillas, a bunch of green onions, one
non-green onion, olive oil, salt and a strong stomach. Use only Virgin
Olive oil! (Sexually experienced oil is not as good)
I'm using "La
Española" oil. There is also
"Carbonell" brand. both brands use almost the same colors and design,
down to the image of a Gypsy woman on the label. This has caused a 25
year long battle where each company accused the other of plagiarism.
And you thought "Oil wars" was about fossil fuels! |
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These are some of the ingredients you will not need.
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NOTE: I do "open source cooking". This means
I will edit and change the recipe as needed and I encourage you to
do the same. My
cooking doesn't belong to any particular culture or nationality, but
it's a mix of things I have taken from different people I have met and
places I have lived. |
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Morcillas are a kind of Spanish blood sausage. Accept
no imitations! Only buy authentic Spanish morcillas like these ones,
made by hand by skilled Spaniards in Daytona Beach.
Be aware that morcillas are technically seasoned
blood clots. In many cultures eating blood is a taboo for cultural and
religious reasons. Check out your local laws before the villagers
start assembling in front of your house carrying torches and
pitchforks.  |
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Chop the onions. You will probably cry while doing
this. Green onions are not "energy efficient"
but actually the sprout that grows on top of the regular onion if you
plant it on the ground. I plant my own onions, but you can find them
in the market. |
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Savagely murder the morcillas beyond recognition.
Warning! Some sausages come wrapped in what look like some kind of
condom. Don't worry, this is just the intestine of the pig. You can
either peel it off or just leave it there. It won't kill you. Your gut
is naturally designed to process another animal's gut.
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Heat the oil until it reach the temperature that would
erase your fingerprints if you were dumb enough to touch it. Slightly
fry the onions, stirring slowly. Ad some
Adobo
Goya, a multi-purpose seasoning powder apparently made from the ashes
of the famous painter. |
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When the onions are starting to get soft but not yet
dark brown and burnt (in which case you have to discard them and start
again from step one) you add the chopped morcillas.
Let everything slowly cook in its own juice.
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Now the morcillas are starting to
change in color and texture. At this decisive
point you either start enjoying the aroma of cooked blood... or throw
up and decide this was a bad idea. Keep
stirring. Ad a little beer. Drink the rest of the six-pack.
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Now it's the moment to add the hot peppers. Never use
commercially available ones. They are all crap.
Most products that have the word "Latin" on
the label are crude travesties that are not even close to the product
they try to imitate.
These particular ones were made for me by my
friend Elga Yinon, from Argentina. These jars of
jalapeño peppers are
kept for decades, slowly marinating in a mix of oil and vinegar. As
the peppers are used, new ones are added, but the original oil is the
same. In some families the same oil has been passed from one
generation to another. |
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After you add the peppers, keep stirring. Add a can of
Tomato Pure.
You can also use spaghetti sauce... but NOT
ketchup. If you were thinking of using ketchup slap yourself silly
right now! Ketchup is for hot dogs!
Lower the stove temperature to a minimum and
cover it with the lid. Let it slowly rest for some minutes before
turning the heat off. And now it' ready! To eat it, you mix it with a bowl
of rice. Oh, yeah, you had to make the rice
beforehand and have it ready. Enjoy! |
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Episode 2 |
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There is some kind of chemical reaction that makes
food's flavor to become enhanced with time. Everything tastes better
the next day. Now you are ready to enjoy the next exciting episode of
your day-old morcilla stew. Put it back on the
stove and reheat it. Add some eggs (as many as you want) Stir the mix.
You will see it becomes thicker and harder as the egg coagulates. Now
you have an unholy mix of blood sausage and scrambled eggs.
You can eat it like that... but it will be
even better as a sandwich!
Fill a piece of bread with morcilla and
enjoy!  |
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